Keeping The Same Tabs Open For 9 Days Straight Because They Contain Information Relevant To Tasks You’re Too Lazy To Complete - A novel by me
1 pillow is too flat
2 pillows is too high
IM GLAD SOMEONE SAID IT
this will never be not funny.
home is where you fully understand how the shower works
if i ever start a band i’m going to name it “music” and then it will be literally impossible to find any of our songs on the internet
the first album : “Unknown album”
the hit single: “track 1”
Some people wanna watch the world burn
Only on Tumblr could you find advice on being buried alive in the same post as advice on cereal dust.
so apparently last year my lit teacher made her students do an assignment on some guy but the only rule was that they could NOT use wikipedia. so she went home and got on wikipedia and edited this guys birthplace, date of birth, date of death, and where he died and the next week when everyone turned in their papers every single one of them got those things wrong and thats how my lit teacher flunked 24 kids in one year
How is it Beyoncé was able to whip her hair properly and not have it in her face while her backup singers couldn’t?
“her back up singers”
Newton ‘Newt’ Scamander • Order of Merlin Second Class • Expert Magizoologist • Author of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them • Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry • …and a HUFFLEPUFF.
i opened my french homework and i know im bad at french but im 99% sure this isnt french
"you wear that shirt a lot"
yes because i own it
Introverts, in contrast, may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family. They listen more than they talk, think before they speak, and often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation. They tend to dislike conflict. Many have a horror of small talk, but enjoy deep discussions.
That moment when even Stephen Colbert can only laugh at your racist crazy.
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